It is here I am going to release my intentions, fears, questions and share with those who are watching from the side my third but first unassisted pregnancy and path to the freebirth of my third child.
I've got a lot of healing to do yet from my first two births before I can birth the way I want/need and deserve to birth my next child. My first birth resulted in unnecessary surgery and the second was a "failed vbac" so also ended in unnecessary surgery.
I have learnt from my mistakes and although parts of me own those feelings there is a mass industry in childbirth that has a lot to answer for. The way women are undermined and undervalued, their pregnancies and births are taken from them.
So it's for many complex reasons that I've made a conscious and valid decision to treat my pregnancy and birth as it should be treated. In fact I don't like that word 'treated'. My pregnancy will progress as it should. My body knows how to grow my baby perfectly. No one needs to examine me or measure me, or look at my unborn baby.
As written in 'Women Who Run With The Wolves' by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
"With wild woman as ally, as leader, model, teacher, we see, not through two eyes, but through the eyes of intuition which is many eyed. When we assert intuition we are therefore like the starry night: we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes."
I am a woman and I will unearth the wild woman within me as I grow and learn.