reflections

It took me quite a while to decide whether or not to post my birth story on my blog. I know it's on Joyous Birth already but a blog is different I suppose.
Then after reading it another time I realised how important it is for people to understand that a medical approach to childbirth just doesn't work. Women and men too, need to understand what can happen and the aftermath of that trauma goes on for years.

I'm not screaming from the rooftops 'look what happened to me!' Although I'd like to sometimes. What I'm saying is that, yes hospitals are an important asset when used correctly, not for every woman's normal pregnancy and birth.
I'm also not advocating that because what happened to me will happen to you. I just want people to open their eyes, do some research(real research!) and to take some responsibility and reclaim their births and their bodies!

Not so hard?

I didn't realise how much anger and pain I still have and how raw it is, 14 months on. It hurt to read that story. I'm angry that women continue to enter the system and are hurt and how many women see me as an angry crazy woman who didn't get her own way. I'm angry that people think I should be grateful that I'm alive and have two beautiful children.

Well that's just ignorant and helps no-one. I've done plenty of burying my pain. I've done it for a long time.

I might be scarred but I'm not broken or faulty. I am a woman and I can give birth just like the many women that have done it for thousands of years before me.

Looking back to my first birth which ended in Ceasarean I was completely naive and handed everything over to the doctors and midwives. I never invested anytime into researching about birth. It was just something that happened and I had plans of just 'going with it' This in turn left me open to someone else making the decisions for me.

My second birth I was more aware but still hadn't quite got my head around the fear of birth. I was still naive and caved to the pressure of the system. I again trusted that they new better than me and I needed them. I didn't quite believe that I was capable of doing it on my own. Giving birth was still a medical process deep down in my mind.

So here I am today planning my third birth. A freebirth. A birth without interventions.