Image fromI don't know how many times women, myself included are told this when they are raped of their births unnecessarily.
What's more disgusting is quite often than not it's said by those that caused the pain in the first place or are caring for us in the aftermath of surgery.
Why does society place such emphasis on 'at least your baby is healthy' and completely disregard the mother, her feelings and pain and the birth experience as a whole?
It does fucking matter.
It matters for years and years.
The experience women achieve from birth is meant to be Joyous, not a memory of pain, hurt, sadness and complete loss of confidence.
I've been told that it doesn't matter how the baby is born as long as they arrive healthy.
What does that say about their own self worth? Their belief in their own bodies? Their belief in birth itself?
It does fucking matter.
I cannot converse with people that feel this is ok. To say to a woman who is recovering from major surgery, feeling like she's been hit by a train, completely lacking in self confidence about her abilities as a mother, and in shock, that it doesn't matter what happened to her, she doesn't count, her feelings are irrelevant now.
She has a baby, as long as they arrived healthy then the rest doesn't matter?
It does matter.
*breathe* Ok rant over.
That image really struck something within me.
Having been there myself I know how it hurts to be crushed already and then have someone tell you it doesn't matter.
Remember, IT DOES MATTER!
4 comments:
I am nodding frantically in agreement with you. I too have had that phrase said to me many times. For me, it tells me more about the other persons understanding than anything. Some would rather push it aside than actually talk and deal with it.
Surrounding myslf by those who understand and listen to me has been a huge help.
Hugs to everyone who has been scarred inside and out in the birth of their child.
Yes, it DOES matter how the baby gets here. Hugs to you Carly. I think a lot of people say it because they just don't know what else to say, and are oblivious as to how much extra pain the "healthy baby" line inflicts. But as the mummy said, for many it's just a matter of not wanting to face up to it.
Well said. I get in this discussion with people all the time. What does a healthy baby matter if the mother is driven insane by the birth?
It's funny, if you told someone who just had some random surgery "At least you're alive" they probably wouldn't appreciate it.
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