Birth Choices

When I was pregnant with my first child I was very socially conditioned. You simply had a baby in a hospital and that was that. There were no other 'choices' in my mind. I read the usual mainstream pregnancy and birth books loaned to me by my Sister-In-Law who had already had 2 vaginal birth in the same hospital I was booked into. I didn't prepare for birth emotionally as such. It was something that I placed at the back of my mind and assumed I would work it out when it happened.

I trusted that the Dr's and midwives knew more than me and never once questioned an Ultrasound, blood test, glucose test or any other procedure suggested to me. (including EFM, CEFM, VE'S pain relief etc)

I was a good girl and did as they said.

Thus my birth was a train wreck waiting to happen.
I was uninformed and unlucky.
I was disappointed that I didn't get the birth I had imagined and realise now my mistakes but it was far less traumatic than my second birth because I wasn't aware until many years later that it didn't need to be the way it was.

Skip forward a few years and I am pregnant for the second time and I am more informed about birth choices. I seek out a doula for support and information. Despite having everything for a great birth at my fingertips I'm reluctant and obviously didn't face many of my demons.

My partner is terrified of having a home birth and insists that we use the hospital. We compromise and say that we'll 'stay home for as long as possible' (A very common statement, doesn't always work!)

So I choose the midwifery team care at the public hospital and am made aware of the hospital policies and procedures regarding VBAC. I didn't know it was a special disease. ;) I can see it's not where I need to birth but that was that.

As I said earlier I didn't face my demons and still had many issues in relation to my belief in birth and my ability to trust my intuition.

I was again placed on a conveyor belt and led to surgery, and despite knowing that what was going on was unnecessary and wrong I was in their hands and it's difficult to fight that.

So it was now clear that women do have a choice. Women needed to take responsibility for their actions and choices. Not leave it up to someone else.

Finding myself pregnant for the 3rd time (a surprise!) I am determined to do what's best for me, not what people think is right. I'm not following their rules. I'll make my own and I'm 100% positive that my rules are based on fact and evidence, unlike those choosing to slice women and remove their babies for a living. (although this is necessary in RARE circumstances, far less than we see toady)

Where I live childbearing women have these choices:

• A private obstetrician and private hospital
• Your GP and public hospital midwifery team care
• 1 Independent Midwife (limited by travel and availability)
• Unassisted pregnancy/childbirth

Not the greatest of options.

But a choice, nonetheless.

In the medical minefield I am aware that I have no choice.

I am to have a 3rd repeat ceasarean at 38 weeks, despite the evidence that proves a vaginal birth is safer.

I know there are risks to a vaginal birth after 2 ceasarean's but it' s far less than choosing repeat surgery for no medical indication.

I won't go into statistics and numbers here, that's what Google is for. :) I know what they are and that's enough.

So removing myself from the 'system' I am down to two choices an IM or a UC.

I toyed with the idea of hiring the midwife but then came to the realisation that it' s again passing the responsibility on to someone else.

I am doing this, no-one else.

It's taken me a long time to get here but I'm comfortable and happy and enjoying the ride.

It's been hard and painful at times but I know what I'm doing is what's right for me and my baby.